Fifth Expedition

We decided to go into town and get more ale, and bacon. Bacon is important when you're adventuring. We had to go back over the mountains, and the higher we went, the deeper the snow got, I thought it was kind of strange as I'd always heard that snow melted in the spring. But I never was one to leave the mine as long as there was ale, and I didn't want to be made fun of by asking a foolish question. By time we got to the village the drovers said that the snow was getting too deep for the wagon. Humans are silly for living on mountains, this never is a problem when you live IN a mountain.

We went into the inn, they had ale. The humans were very happy to see us, they thought we were somebody else. They had received a note about the snow, they said someone needed to go up the mountain and meet whoever sent the note, then the snow would go away. We decided to go, there wasn't much ale left in the inn. Flash and Hahdan stayed with the wagon and the drovers.

So Drunk, Thunk, Slick and I started walking up the mountain, the snow was more than beard deep on me. Half way up I spotted six humans lying in the snow, trying to surprise us. Silly humans. I told the others to wait until we were within thirty feet then charge. When we got to thirty feet they fired crossbows at us. That made Thunk mad, I wasn't happy either. Drunk, Slick and Thunk each got to kill one, then they dropped their swords and put their hands in the air. That made it easier for me to kill the one in front of me. Drunk killed another one, he's greedy that way. Thunk beat the last one up until he stopped trying to give up, and just gave up. We took their swords, crossbows and clothes, can't leave things like that where any passing murder hobos can find them.

We found an abandoned inn at the top of the pass, it used to be called the Owl's Roost. Now it's called 'For Sale or Lease'. There was big elf in there, at least part elf, the other side of his face was green and scaly. Definitely better looking than the last six lippy elves we had met. Of course they were pretty hacked up after we had parted ways with them. This elf's name was Primus. He said his boss was trapped in a hole and he needed our help to get her out. I told him that if it was a mining job he should have said so in his note, then we would have brought the right tools. Granite is hard on the edge of the axe, picks are better. He also said his boss would make it warm again, whatever. These elves are a flighty bunch. He brought in a big load of fire wood, although there was a bunch of furniture that was dry enough to burn.

The next day he took us along some slippery paths to what remained of an old tower. I'm pretty sure that some wizard had built it. There was a crack in the snow all the way into the ground. While we were looking at it, a huge white centipedey thing burst out of the snow. Primus punched it once and it went back under the snow. We are so going bar hopping with this elf. We went down the crack, Primus was too big, but he gave me a little glowing ball and told me how to use when I was close to thaw his boss out.

We found a hallway leading back towards the ruined tower and followed it until we came to a library. There was a little blue critter there with wings, rummaging through the scraps of books left inside. He said he wasn't supposed to be hard, we figured that he was a water mephit who had caught a cold. We took some scraps of the parchments with us and told the mephit to tag along with us and we would thaw him out. He told us to turn right when we left the library, but we saw that there was a barricade to the left. I thought we should see what they wanted to keep us out of, so we went up to it. Some bugbears attacked us with javelins, hitting Drunk. Thunk killed two before he got mad. I healed Drunk, which made him mad. Of course he might have gotten mad because Thunk killed four more before he killed any. We found some gold and a ring.

Then we went back the way the mephit wanted us to go. It was some sort of laboratory - I said I thought it was a wizard's tower, this is one of the clue you look for. It had cages and snow drifts in it. I started probing the snow drifts with a pole. Three white dogs jumped out of the snow, one bit me. Their breath came out in a big cloud, it was cold, but minty fresh. That's another clue, dog breath usually isn't fresh. Drunk, Thunk and I each killed a hoar hound. We found a potion and a magic short sword.

We found another laboratory, this one with wizards in it. That's an almost certain sign that you're in a wizards tower. One was crushed under a chunk of ceiling. Dwarven ceilings never collapse, well, unless there's a dragon involved or my uncle. The other one was frozen inside an ice giant. I made the mephit promise to provide me with one service if I thawed him out. Then we broke up the ice giant and used the glowing ball. All the ice melted at once and the wizard came out. Slick helped the wizard up, then a big water elemental appeared and smacked the wizard, the mephit made a screaming noise and ran like an elf. I cast Hanseath's Axe and Magic Weapon on my axe, and gave Thunk the short sword we had found. He hit the elemental hard. Drunk was hitting it hard but didn't seem to be bothering it. Slick got the wizard out, then Thunk hit it really hard - Thunk drunk the water [elemental].

We took the wizard back up. We found that Primus had killed the centipedey thing, but sadly it had killed him too. I'm going to let the next elf I meet live out of respect for his memory. I figured that our employers would want the centipedey thing, so I cast Gentle Repose on it and we sent them a message to come with a way to get it out. The wizard gave me a headband.

We then traveled into town to make some purchases with the gold we had extracted from various nefarious dungeon dwellers in the course of our adventures. After ordering various oddments to be made, we went to find another dungeon to ensure that we had sufficient precious metals to pay for our goods.  We took ale and bacon with us this time.  I hope we get back to town before we run out again.

 Slick went back to performing his rituals in front of the doors. I thought heard him saying something about '...put your left foot in...', maybe he wants to be a wizard, because it didn't sound like any divine spell I've ever heard. After his ritual, Drunk and Thunk opened the door. We were happy to find nine zombies behind it! [We were even happier to discover that these creatures are subject to Critical Hits in Pathfinder.] Drunk was so happy he rekilled seven. Thunk and I each rekilled one. We found some silver.

We found two lantern archons in the next room. We offered to kill anything they wanted us to kill in the dungeon. I figured that making the offer counts as a good deed, so it would be an appropriate thing to do when dealing with beings from the upper planes.

Slick said heard grunting while performing his ritual the next time. Catchy little tune. Drunk and Thunk opened the door. A net fell on Drunk. I smashed the ogre, then Thunk killed it. Drunk killed it's piggy. We found some gold and gems and most importantly spare ribs. That's supper taken care of.

Thunk opened the next door by himself. Then he started dancing and waving his axe around. Drunk joined him in the dance. Then there was a dead plant thingy in there with them. Funny I didn't see it while they were dancing. Are all my companions becoming mages? We found some human sized full plate.

 Slick heard some shuffling behind the door after that. Drunk and Thunk found a pit trap. Drunk fell in. We found four halflings behind the door. We told them to go out and take the spare ribs with them. And to have them cooked when we came out, they could use the long sword we found for a spit. The halflings were afraid of some elves they said were in the dungeon. I may have to wait an elf or two before I let one live.

Slick said he heard  'brown chicken, brown cow' music coming from behind the next door or was it 'boom-chick-a-wow-wow' ? Anyway, six orcs shafted Thunk and Drunk with javelins. Thunk killed one, I killed two and Drunk killed three. We found some gold and gems.  We didn't find any chicken or cows.

Then we were hungry and decided to go back out and have spare ribs before looking for the elves.